Monday 29th January 2007

“I feel like Augustine of Hippo after his conversion by Ambrose of Milan”

Does anyone know who said this? I once asked a classroom of 15/16 year olds and none of them knew. It was actually Homer Simpson. (For those who have never watched, or even heard of, The Simpsons, they are an animated family that are largely dysfunctional. There on during the week on Channel 4 at 6.00 pm. Don’t watch if you’re easily offended.)

The storyline was that Homer and Marge had been deemed unfit parents and the Simpson children were put into the foster care of the Flanders family (the raving evangelicals from next door). When Ned Flanders finds out that Bart hasn’t been baptised he takes things into his own hands. Taking the children to a nearby river he starts to pour the water onto Bart. Meanwhile, Homer and Marge have passed their parenting exam and are deemed fit parents again. Rushing to collect their children they manage to get to the river in time for Homer – in a very bodyguard-like manner - to take the bullet and be baptised instead of his son. Bart, amazed, asks him how he feels, to which Homer replies in a very ‘holy’ voice, “I feel like Augustine of Hippo after his conversion by Ambrose of Milan.” Flanders, even more amazed, asks, “What did you just say, Homer?” To which the reply is, in Homer’s normal brogue, “I said, shut your hole, Flanders.”

The discussion I was starting was, what effect does baptism have? and how long does it last?

The teenagers whom I asked this were, predominantly, Roman Catholic. They knew the official answers but they also knew that it didn’t always seem to work in their lives.

The point I was hoping to draw out was that the decision for baptism is significant only if the ‘little’ decisions made daily before and after and based on the declarations and promises made.

On Easter day we will have our baptism service. Here, some people will be baptised; some will renew their baptismal vows. A few weeks after this we will have our confirmation service.

Whether or not we take an active part in these services, let’s spend a few minutes examining the decisions we’re likely to make today and ask ourselves, if this decision was part on a public act of worship, what would my response be?