I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me. Philippians 1:20-26 [NIV]
In Paul’s letter to the Philippians, he confesses to being torn as to whether he wants more to live or to die. The benefits of living are that he can continue to carry out the work of the Kingdom and the fruitful work he has been doing. The benefits of dying are that he will be with Christ – which is better by far than life in the world.
I confess that I don’t always (in fact, don’t often) think the same way – perhaps I don’t have the confidence or faith to earnestly desire death. But I fully understand what Paul is saying. My hope is that should my faith be tested to the point where I must choose between my life and my faith that I will not put the idol of self-preservation above the eternal life that Jesus died to give us access to. There is no comparison between the life we are living today and the life we will know when we depart to be with Christ.
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12 [NIV]
Lord, we look forward to seeing you face to face, help us to increase our faith until that day comes, Amen.
